The Most Dangerous Word in CX: "Forgettable" (and Five Strategies to Fix It)

Memorability is key—both when it comes to you as a leader and, of course, when it comes to your customer-centric change program or initiatives.

Daily Reality

In corporate life, so many initiatives are vying for attention. Let’s be real. The most talked-about topic today is AI. YES. Is it important? Of course. Yesterday it was safety. Before that, agility. Before that, IT security. And tomorrow…

You can probably sense a bit of sarcasm in what I'm saying, but this is the reality in most organizations.

Everyone wants attention. Everyone wants funding. Everyone wants engagement. Everyone wants their initiative to be the priority.

So how do you convey your voice, your thoughts, your CX vision, and your change program through this sound cloud? How do you ensure that people actually remember your initiative?

Much of the communication surrounding these topics is neutral, abstract, and routine. I like to call it “Corporate Schmorporate.” An e-learning course is launched so the corporate side can check it off the list. A few posters pop up around the coffee machine, and BAM. Program done.

There's nothing wrong with it.

But also very little that people will remember six months from now.

The research

When it comes to cognitive and affective neuroscience (yes, I did a little more research for you), studies show that people do not store all information equally. Emotionally engaging and distinctive experiences are much more likely to be remembered than neutral information.

Long story short? Most corporate communications are neutral and boring. People forget them.

Making your change program memorable does not guarantee success. But it dramatically increases the likelihood that people will join you on the journey.

My experience

A month ago, I hosted my very first CX Story training session. My biggest takeaway? All the participants had great content. They were true experts in their field. But many struggled to convey a message that would stick.

Not on their authority. Not on their initiative. Not through their consulting firm. The stories remained neutral, descriptive, and ultimately forgettable.

What now?

If you want to stand out from the crowd and be remembered after your presentation, you need something clever.

You need the MAC effect.

Memorable. Actionable. Consistent.

Yes, that clever marketing ploy by McDonald’s, with their big yellow M everywhere. And that little jingle at the end of their commercials. I’m lovin’ it. That’s some damn good marketing. And you can learn from that.

Add something memorable. Make it actionable. And of course—here I go again—make it consistent. Keep sharing it. Again. And again.

How to Make Something Memorable

Based on the research and my own experience, I would say there are five options. And if you have any others, I'd love to hear them.

1. Emotionally engaging stories
What I remember from Susan van Wijk’s presentation on Global CX Day was the story of an entrepreneur who passed away unexpectedly and the impact that had on his family because things hadn’t been arranged properly. I still remember that story.

2. Striking visuals
Having worked with the master of visuals, Jaap Wilms, I know how important visuals are. Create a logo. Create a recognizable image. Give your team a visual identity. Wear a T-shirt with your message. Be creative and make your program look the best of all.

3. Concrete examples with results
Please stop saying, “We are improving Voice of the Customer.” Nobody remembers that. Instead, say, “We discovered that 35% of customers got stuck in our FAQ. By improving the content and using AI optimization, we reduced costs by €125,000 and improved satisfaction from 5.5 to 6.5.” Now people understand. Now people remember.

4. Meaningful experiences
We all know this works best. Let colleagues observe operations at the contact center. Let them shadow technicians. Let them meet customers. Let them experience what customers experience. Because experiences are remembered far longer than PowerPoint slides.

5. Taglines
This one is ridiculously simple and often overlooked. What is the tagline of your program, team, or movement? I love the example of Clint Payne and the name of his program: #99. One year. Ninety-nine customer and employee issues solved. Simple. Clear. Memorable.

Being memorable is often the quickest path to long-term success.

Yes, even after deciding what you want people to remember, you still have to put in the work. And you can. That's what you do every day.

But first, stop and think. What do you want your colleagues to remember about your program, team, or movement?

Because a strategy that nobody remembers is just a document.

A strategy that people remember becomes a movement.

And that is exactly why memorability is at the heart of Narrative within my ANI Leadership model.

Authority helps people remember you. A narrative helps people remember your message. And when people remember and repeat your message, that's where impact begins.

So tell me: what is the one thing you want people to remember about your CX initiative?

Ready to create a CX story that people will actually remember?

The CX Leadership Masterminds is built around Authority, Narrative, and Impact. If you’re struggling to turn your great content into a message that resonates, this is where you’ll learn how . Let’s talk.

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletterto stay informed. 

 

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Inside the ANI Model: What Authority, Narrative, and Impact Really Require of You

I was recording a podcast episode from a tiny house on Texel, hiding from a 37-degree heatwave. No studio. No air conditioning. Just me, my laptop, and a friend who kept me from melting. And from that little island, I ventured into uncharted territory—not just explaining the ANI Model, but delving into each layer and showing what it actually requires of you.

Let me take you there now.

First, a quick reminder: what ANI actually is

ANI is a Japanese word for a respectable older brother. Not the loud one. The one a few steps ahead, quietly leading the way with confidence. That is who CX leaders need to become. Not someone who knows more CX tools. Not someone who survives yet another reorganization. Someone the organization genuinely listens to. Someone who leads, not just manages.

ANI has three layers: Authority, Narrative, Impact. And what I want to do here is delve into each one, because the surface-level explanation isn’t enough. Each layer asks something specific of you—something that might be uncomfortable to face.

The ANI CX Leadership Model

A is for Authority: Who You Are as a CX Leader

Here’s the thing about authority. It has two sides, and most CX leaders only consider one of them.

External authority is how others see you. Are you invited to the strategy table? Does the C-suite see you as a partner, or are you the person they hire a consulting firm to replace? That one stings. But it’s worth asking yourself honestly.

Internal authority is how you see yourself. Do you have the confidence to move forward, even when others aren’t sure about you yet? Do you trust your own judgment before asking anyone else’s?

The uncomfortable truth: you cannot build external authority while your internal authority is shaky. It doesn’t work that way. People sense the disconnect. Your hesitation shows. Your wording becomes tentative. You downplay the idea before you’ve even said it out loud.

The gap between a Level 3 CX Manager and a Level 4 CX Leader—the point where most CX professionals get completely stuck—is not a skills gap. You know enough. You have the data. You understand the frameworks. It’s a leadership identity gap. You’re waiting for permission to lead. And nobody is going to give it to you.

Authority begins the moment you decide you're no longer going to wait.

I know that voice in your head. I had it when I was a CX leader. I still have it now, especially when I post something bold on LinkedIn and get pushback. And every time, I have to make a choice: let the doubt win, or stand my ground anyway.

THAT is the choice the authorities ask of you. Every. Single. Time.

N is for Narrative: How You Lead

Authority gets you into the room.

Narrative is what you do once you get there.

Here’s a truth I’ve seen play out in organizations around the world: insight without a narrative has no impact. You can have the most rigorous data in the building. You can know exactly where the friction lies, what it costs, and what needs to change. But if you can’t turn that into a story your organization wants to follow, nothing happens.

CX leaders often have all the ingredients but no story. They have the research but not the roadmap. They have the customer feedback but not the narrative for change. They have the numbers but not the business case that would make a CFO sit up and take notice.

Think of yourself as the captain of a ship. You know where you’re going. You know the conditions. But if your crew doesn’t understand the destination, or why it matters, or how you’re getting there, they aren’t sailing with you. They’re just standing on the deck.

Your CX story, your strategy map, your business case—these are your tools. Not documents to be filed away. Tools you actually use, in the room, with the people who need to follow your lead.

The moment you stop explaining CX and start guiding it through a clear, consistent narrative, something changes. People stop nodding politely and start taking action.

That shift is Narrative.

I is for Impact: What Value You Deliver

This is where leadership comes to the fore.

Impact has three parts, and all three are important.

Delivering results means business value and customer value. Euros, NPS, fewer calls, higher retention—whatever your metric—measured, owned, and communicated.

Scaling CX means developing methodologies that can be replicated without your direct involvement. Closing the loop. Journey mapping. Identifying friction points. These aren’t one-time workshops. They are disciplines you implement to ensure the experience remains consistent even when you’re not there.

Embedding CX means it becomes an integral part of how the business operates. Not a department. Not a project. A way of working. This is achieved through small experiments that your teams can actually carry out, not through one massive program that wears everyone out and accomplishes nothing.

And then there’s the part that most CX leaders avoid talking about.

Accountability.

Most of us are stuck on a hamster wheel of calendars. Busy from 8:30 until who knows when. Full days, full weeks. And still not getting the things that matter most done.

At KPN, I led accountability calls—just thirty minutes once a month. They changed me more than almost anything else in my career. Not because someone was checking up on me, but because I was checking up on myself—saying out loud what I had committed to and facing the gap between what I promised and what I delivered.

It was uncomfortable. It was also transformative.

You don’t need to follow my exact format. But you need to create your own version of it. Because the leaders I admire most aren’t the busiest ones. They’re the ones who take ownership of their results and deliver on their promises.

That is Impact.

The real question ANI asks

CX will continue to evolve. New tools, new AI, new methodologies—it’s all coming your way. But the most powerful tool you have isn’t a tool. It’s you. Your leadership.

Authority. Narrative. Impact.

Not a checklist. A journey. From CX Manager to the Strategic CX Leader your organization actually listens to.

You become the ANI—the one who’s a few steps ahead, showing the way.

There will be storms. There always are. But you know where you’re going.

So if you want to listen to the podcast, here's the link.

Want more CX leadership insights? Connect with me on LinkedIn, and sign up for my weekly CX newsletter.

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

 

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletter to stay informed. 

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Are you making a lasting impression? How to build your CX leadership brand

Last week, I was in a room with 32 account managers from a global B2B company. Smart people. Experienced people. People who genuinely love their customers.

We were working on something I find endlessly fascinating: the moment of genuine connection between a professional and the person sitting across the table. Not the pitch. Not the product demo. The human moment that comes before all of that.

I introduced them to the 3:1 rule. Three genuine questions about the other person—their life, their world, their business—before you share one memorable thing about yourself. Questions that go beyond the quarterly review. Questions that make the other person feel seen.

The exercise went off without a hitch. People became curious. The role-plays were wonderful. And then came the harder part.

The “1” in the 3:1 rule.

I asked them, “What is the one memorable thing you want people to remember about you?” The room fell silent.

Out of 32 people, two had a specific answer. Another participant said, after a long pause, “I think I’m a connector.”

I smiled. Because I’ve heard some version of that answer more times than I can count. “I’m a connector.” “I’m a people person.” “I care about relationships.”

All true. All beautiful qualities.

But let’s be honest. All of them are completely FORGETTABLE.

What will your stakeholders say when you leave the room?

Most CX leaders never even think about this.

Not your job title. Not your NPS target. Not which projects you're currently working on. What would they say about you?

Your personal brand isn't what you say about yourself. It's what other people say about you when you're not in the room.

For most CX leaders, that’s a sobering thought. Because we devote an enormous amount of energy to creating reports, dashboards, journey maps, presentations, and strategy decks. We show up. We deliver. We work hard.

But if the story people tell about us when we leave the room is vague or generic, then we are working very hard for LITTLE strategic influence. And when a strategic program comes along, the decision-makers might not even ask you to join the steering committee.

Strategic CX leaders craft their narrative

The shift from CX Manager to Strategic CX Leader isn't just about knowing more. It's about consciously deciding who you are within this organization—what people can count on from you, and what story you are deliberately building over time.

Most CX leaders let that story happen by chance.

The strategic ones design it.

They understand that being known for something specific is not just a matter of vanity. It is a leadership strategy.

This is exactly what I mean when I talk about “authority” in the ANI framework. Not authority in the sense of hierarchy. Not authority in the sense of being the loudest voice in the room. But authority in the sense that when your name comes up, people know what you stand for. They trust you for something specific. They turn to you for something specific. That is the kind of authority that creates real CX influence.

Awareness is the first step toward change. And in this case, awareness means being honest about the gap between the story people currently tell about you and the story you actually want them to tell. That gap is where your work lies.

Three Questions to Help You Build Your Personal Brand as a CX Leader

Start here. These three questions will show you exactly where that gap is.

  • What do people remember about you today? Not what you hope they remember, but what they actually associate with you. If you're brave, go ahead and ask.
  • What do you want them to remember? What version of yourself are you striving to become? What skills, perspectives, and qualities do you want to be known for?
  • What is the one personal, specific, human thing that makes you memorable? Not “passionate about CX.” Something real. Something that’s uniquely yours.

What My Personal Brand Looks Like

: CX Leadership Personal Brand

My personal brand in one photo: taken on August 13, 2021, in the Aosta Valley in Italy while walking the Via Francigena.

When I explain my personal brand: of course, it’s the blue dress. It’s also the pilgrim who has walked a thousand kilometers. And being a Dutch storyteller who says what others are thinking.

Those are mine. This isn't a trick. It's a consistent, deliberate choice. It shows that I am consistent, deliberate, an adventurer with stamina, someone who dares to make fun of herself, starts a movement, and adds a little laughter here and there.

That’s what a personal CX leadership brand feels like when it’s done right. It’s specific. It’s human. And it’s unmistakably you.

Ready to become the CX leader people will remember?

This is exactly the work we do in the CX Leadership Masterminds: building your authority, refining your narrative, and creating real impact in your organization—not by doing more CX, but by becoming the leader your business can’t ignore.

If you're ready to deliberately craft your story, explore the CX Leadership Masterminds here.

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletterto stay informed. 

 

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The CX leadership model that changes everything: Introducing ANI

You know your CX strategy inside and out. You have the data. You have the roadmap. And yet—the organization isn't making any progress.

Does that sound familiar?

After more than a decade of educating and mentoring CX leaders, I kept hearing the same frustrations. Stakeholders who agreed that customer experience mattered but never made it a priority. Leadership teams that nodded in agreement but never took real action. CX professionals who knew exactly what needed to happen next and felt completely stuck.

The more I listened, the more I realized something uncomfortable: most of the challenges we call CX challenges are actually leadership challenges.

That realization is what led to the creation of ANI and a new CX leadership model built around the three elements that truly drive organizations: Authority, Narrative, and Impact.

The pattern I couldn't ignore

When I first started working in customer experience, our conversations were full of frameworks and methodologies: customer journeys, Voice of the Customer, governance, and NPS.

But ask a CX leader what is really holding them back, and a different answer emerges.

It's not the customer journey. It's getting people to care about it.

It's not the strategy. It's getting people to believe in it.

Not knowing what to do. Helping others move with you.

That is a leadership gap. Not a CX gap.

The "big brother" moment

One conversation changed everything for me.

I asked a CX leader what she would do differently if she were the very best version of herself. She paused. Then she said, “I think I would act more like my older brother.”

She described someone people trusted. Someone proactive. Someone who requested a budget, invited the CEO for coffee, walked into a room and inspired confidence before saying a word. Someone whose opinion carried weight.

“I wish I had more of that,” she said.

She was not alone. The CX leaders who were making real progress had something in common: authority, a compelling narrative, and consistent impact. And so, ANI was born.

Introducing the ANI CX Leadership Model

ANI is a Japanese word. It means “older brother.” Not just any older brother, but a respected one—someone a few steps ahead who shows the way. That is who CX leaders can become.

The ANI model is based on three elements:

A – Authority (Who you are)

How are you perceived? How do you see yourself? Authority is about confidence, presence, and credibility. It is the shift from waiting for permission to becoming someone the business actively listens to.

N – Narrative (How you lead)

Insight without a narrative has no impact. Great CX leaders drive change through a compelling CX story, a clear strategy map, and a narrative that connects to the business. CX stops being explained and starts being led.

I – Impact (What You Create)

Leadership must be reflected in results. Impact is where the customer experience becomes embedded, scaled, and linked to real business outcomes. It’s not just about doing CX—it’s about making CX an integral part of how the business operates.

The ANI CX Leadership Model

From CX Management to CX Leadership

Strong CX management is still important. Governance, customer journeys, Voice of the Customer programs, measurement, culture. All of it.

But increasingly, leadership is what sets companies apart.

Your ability to drive change. Build trust. Influence stakeholders. Link customer experience to business success. Lead.

The ANI CX leadership model provides the language to describe something you may have felt for years but never had the words to express: the gap between implementing CX and leading it.

Ready to advance from CX Manager to strategic CX Leader?

The ANI model is the foundation of the CX Leadership Masterminds, a program built around this CX leadership model for CX professionals who are tired of waiting for permission and are ready to lead with authority, narrative, and impact.

If this speaks to you, and you’re wondering whether the CX Leadership Masterminds might be your next step, book a 30-minute conversation and let’s find out.

Because you already know what needs to happen. Now let’s make sure the right people are on board with you.

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletterto stay informed. 

 

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CX Leadership Resilience: Why Getting Back Up Is Your Greatest Skill

There’s a small, slightly silly holiday that has really stuck with me.

Upsy Daisy Day. A day dedicated to getting back on your feet, starting over, and approaching the world with optimism.

My first reaction was: Who comes up with these things?

My second reaction was: actually, there’s something important here for CX leaders.

Optimism isn't blind. It's fuel.

If there is one thing I have learned over the years, it is that resilience in CX leadership starts with optimism. Not blind optimism.

We all know that organizations can be chaotic. Budgets vanish. Priorities shift. Projects move slower than you planned. And sometimes a stakeholder says “no” before you’ve even finished your sentence.

No, I mean the more subdued kind of optimism.

The kind that takes you straight to the next meeting even after three rejections. The kind that keeps you standing up for the customer when everyone else has lost interest.

Because most of us aren’t working on problems that can be solved in a week. We’re trying to change habits, cultures, decisions, and behaviors. That takes time. Optimism is often the only thing that keeps you going.

Teflon and Bamboo: A Resilience Model for CX Leaders

I think of CX leadership resilience in terms of two materials: Teflon and bamboo.

As a CX leader, you need a thick skin. Not because you don’t care, but because you can’t afford to take every setback personally. The difficult email. The canceled project. The steering committee that just doesn’t seem to get it. If all of that gets to you, this job quickly becomes exhausting.

At the same time, you need to be like bamboo.

Strong enough to bend when circumstances change. Resilient enough to bounce back. When things go wrong, bamboo bends with the storm. And then it rises again.

Teflon keeps you from breaking. Bamboo helps you get back on your feet.

The leaders I admire most

When I look at the CX leaders who are truly making a difference, their greatest asset is rarely their intelligence or their technical knowledge.

It's that they just keep going.

They continue to build relationships.

They continue to believe that change is possible, even when the evidence temporarily suggests otherwise.

Research supports this. People who regularly reflect on what is going well recover more quickly from setbacks and are better equipped to navigate uncertainty. Gratitude and optimism are not soft skills. They are leadership skills.

And that made me reflect on my own gratitude. For the CX leaders who choose to work with me. For the trust my speaking clients place in me. For the conversations, ideas, and friendships that have grown out of a shared desire to make customer experience work.

That’s why I want to share that with you.

The conversations behind closed doors

Here’s something I consistently notice in coaching sessions, masterclasses, and one-on-one conversations with CX leaders.

The challenges that keep people up at night are rarely about journey mapping, governance models, or NPS dashboards.

They are about influence. Confidence. Visibility. Authority. Finding your voice in the boardroom. Creating real momentum. Making the impact you know you’re capable of.

Those are leadership conversations. Not conversations about CX methodology.

And that is exactly why I created the CX Leadership Masterminds.

If any of this sounds familiar, I’d love to chat with you. No sales pitch—just an honest conversation about where you are today, where you’d like to go, and whether the CX Leadership Masterminds could help you get there. You can book a time here.

One small challenge before you move on

Take a moment. Think of three things you’re grateful for right now, whether in your work or on your CX journey.

Then send a short message to someone who has made your work a little easier, a little more meaningful, or simply a little more fun.

You’ll brighten their day. And maybe they’ll do the same for someone else.

Here we go. My blue dress and I are rooting for you.

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletterto stay informed. 

 

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Stakeholder Management for CX Leaders: Stop Treating Everyone the Same

You're not here to make everyone happy. You're here to lead.

Most CX leaders know their stakeholders. They have the list. They send out updates. They attend steering committee meetings. And yet—somehow—the CX agenda keeps getting stalled. Not because the work is poor. But because the energy is being directed in the wrong places.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: strategic CX leadership isn’t about giving everyone equal attention. It’s about being strategic about where you invest your political capital, your visibility, and your relationship-building efforts.

That shift—from equal to intentional—is what distinguishes a CX manager from a strategic CX leader.

Why Giving Equal Attention Undermines Your Impact on the Customer Experience

It usually looks like this. The same updates for everyone. The same communication style across the board. Long presentations sent to people who will never read them. Endless invitations to stakeholders who have minimal influence over your CX agenda.

Meanwhile, the people who could actually drive your CX initiative forward—those with real influence and a genuine interest—barely receive any deliberate effort to build relationships with them at all.

This is not a time management problem. It is a strategic leadership problem.

And once you see it, you can't unsee it.

The Mendelow Matrix: A smarter way to manage CX stakeholders

Enter the Mendelow Matrix. Not because CX leadership needs yet another framework that no one remembers after the workshop. But because this particular model forces you to think differently about engagement.

The matrix plots stakeholders on two axes: their level of interest and their level of influence. This results in four quadrants, each requiring a completely different engagement strategy.

Who deserves your time and the effort to build a deep relationship? Who needs to be kept in the loop without being overwhelmed? Who benefits from your involvement without needing you to take the lead? And who simply needs to know what’s going on without taking up all your time?

Once you start looking at things this way, something changes. You stop dividing your attention equally. You start leading strategically.

A four-step stakeholder management approach that actually works

Effective stakeholder management is not a one-time effort. It is a four-step process that builds on itself.

Step one is stakeholder identification—knowing who is involved. Step two is stakeholder mapping—understanding their position in terms of power and interest. Step three is stakeholder salience—recognizing who is most critical to your CX initiative right now. And step four, where many CX leaders are still operating too narrowly, is stakeholder engagement.

Engagement is where things get personal. Where you make deliberate choices. Where you decide that a coffee chat with one director is worth more than three slide decks sent to a group.

The strongest CX leaders think differently

The CX leaders who drive real organizational change aren’t just skilled at CX management. They understand influence. They understand authority. They understand how organizations actually function—politically, relationally, and strategically.

They don’t wait to be invited to the table. They build the relationships that make it impossible to leave them out.

That is the shift this framework is designed to support. Not more activity. Smarter choices about where your energy makes the biggest impact.

One question worth pondering

Before you move on: where are you currently overinvesting as a CX leader? And where—if you’re honest—are you strategically underinvesting?

That answer often tells you everything about where you are right now in your leadership development.

If you want to dive deeper, the Strategic Stakeholder Management Playbook for CX Leaders walks you through all four steps, the Salience Model, the Mendelow Matrix, practical engagement strategies for each quadrant, and reflection questions to help you strengthen your influence on the customer experience right away. Download it here and start leading more strategically today.

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletterto stay informed. 

 

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Stakeholder Management for CX Leaders: Stop Playing the Ad Hoc Game.

Last week’s CX Leadership Masterminds alumni meetup left a lasting impression on me. Great conversations, concrete actions, new energy, and—to be honest—a little discomfort as well.

Irene van Hoorn shared her leadership journey at CCXP: from building the Customer Experience at Eneco to winning the International CX Award for CX Leader and Team of the Year. A story about visibility, strategic leadership, and learning how to build influence within a large organization.

But what fascinated me most was the conversation that followed.

Because one thing has become painfully clear: many CX leaders are still focused far too much on day-to-day operations. Not because they lack expertise. Not because they don’t understand customers. But because they still view Customer Experience as a tactical discipline, not a strategic leadership priority.

And that changes everything.

The elephant in the CX room

Once you move into more senior CX roles, your success no longer depends on customer insights, journey maps, or CX tools. It increasingly depends on how well you understand organizational dynamics.

Who influences decisions. Who drives momentum. Who quietly slows things down. And where political attention actually lies.

In other words: stakeholder management. The one thing nobody puts on their CX roadmap, but every strategic CX leader quietly masters.

Too many CX leaders are still part of what I call the CX Ad Hoc Crew: reacting instead of leading, jumping from one request to the next, trying to keep everyone in the loop, align with everyone, and help everyone. Meanwhile, the CX leaders who are driving real change are intentionally building a CX Strategic Alliance.

So let’s talk about how to get there.

The strategic foundation: four steps that build on one another

Strategic stakeholder management isn’t complicated, but it does require a deliberate approach. There are four steps that form the foundation.

Step 1 is stakeholder identification. This is where many CX leaders already start thinking too narrowly. You focus on the obvious players: your manager, your CX team, customer service, and marketing. But transformation rarely happens through the hierarchy alone. Sometimes the operational manager everyone trusts has more influence than a senior director. Sometimes finance determines whether your roadmap survives. Start broad. Identify all relevant stakeholders, not just the obvious ones.

Step 2 is stakeholder mapping. Not every stakeholder has the same influence, priorities, or relationship to your CX strategy. Strategic CX leaders understand these dynamics before they start rolling out initiatives. Map out the landscape first.

Step 3 is where things get truly strategic: stakeholder salience. The Salience Stakeholder Model examines three factors—power, legitimacy, and urgency—and that immediately shifts the conversation.

Power: Who can influence outcomes or make things happen?

Urgency: Whose claims require immediate attention?

Legitimacy: Whose relationship to the initiative is actually valid and relevant?

The magic lies in the overlap. Not every vocal stakeholder deserves your immediate attention. Not every urgent request should dictate your roadmap. And not every senior stakeholder automatically has the authority to influence customer decisions.

Want to work through all four steps using a practical framework? Download the free Strategic Stakeholder Management Playbook for CX Leaders —it walks you through every step, including the Salience Model and the Mendelow Matrix.

Where most CX leaders go wrong

This model forces you to think more carefully about where your political energy and strategic focus are actually directed.

Focus on key stakeholders—the people at the intersection of power, legitimacy, and urgency. These are often the stakeholders who determine whether Customer Experience becomes a strategic business priority or remains just another initiative competing for organizational resources.

But just as important are the dangerous stakeholders: people with power and a sense of urgency, but without true legitimacy within the initiative itself. These stakeholders can create enormous pressure, conflicting priorities, or political resistance when they feel excluded or threatened by change. And honestly? Most CX leaders completely underestimate their impact.

The real leadership question is: which stakeholders deserve your political energy, your strategic visibility, and your active relationship-building efforts?

From ad hoc to strategic

My biggest takeaway from the alumni meetup was this: the CX leaders making the biggest impact today are no longer just strong in CX management. They are becoming strategically visible leaders who understand how to build influence, strategic relationships, and organizational authority.

That is the shift. From CX Ad Hoc Crew to CX Strategic Alliance.

And it starts with understanding the landscape before you start pushing your agenda throughout the organization.

So when you’re completely honest with yourself, which one are you right now?

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletterto stay informed. 

 

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My birthday, Queen Máxima, and a lesson in CX leadership

Every year on May 17, I can’t help but smile a little to myself. Not only because it’s my birthday, but also because I share that birthday with Queen Máxima of the Netherlands. You can clearly tell she’s at least a year older than I am, right? 😉

This year, my birthday made me think back to a very specific moment from years ago.

At the time, I was leading a team of 100 people in IT at ASR Netherlands, and I was also a member of the board of Women in Financial Services. We organized our annual event and, feeling a bit nervous but wildly optimistic, decided to invite Queen Máxima.

And then something happened that we honestly didn't expect.

She said yes.

Her visit was meticulously planned, and I think the stress alone cost me at least a few years of my life. But as board members, we also had the chance to meet her in person and have a real conversation about money, women’s careers in finance, and financial literacy. I still remember talking about allowance for her daughters. So much fun. So human. So normal.

But what I absolutely didn't realize at that moment was just how much of an impact that single moment would have later on.

Because there were photographers there. Journalists. Internal communications teams. Pictures started circulating throughout the financial industry and within ASR Netherlands. A month later, I unexpectedly appeared in Elegance magazine, which felt hilariously glamorous at the time. The funniest part? My mother called me almost a year later to tell me she was sitting in the dentist’s waiting room and that old issue of Elegance was still lying there, with my picture in it.

And months later, footage from the event was reused in a Dutch television program during prime time.

Nothing about me changed fundamentally overnight. I didn’t suddenly become smarter, more experienced, or more talented. But I became visible. And visibility has a snowball effect.

Great work doesn't always speak for itself

This is one of the most underestimated leadership lessons in customer experience.

So many brilliant CX professionals—maybe even you—believe that if they simply work hard enough, people will automatically take notice. Sometimes they do. But often they don’t. Not because the work isn’t good enough, not because the insights aren’t strong enough, and definitely not because the CX professional isn’t capable enough.

But organizations are busy. People are distracted. Priorities change. And opportunities often go to the people others remember.

That may be hard to admit, especially in a field like Customer Experience, where so much of the work is about substance, listening, improvement, and long-term change. But visibility matters. Not as a matter of ego. Not as self-promotion for its own sake. But because meaningful work needs to be linked to memory, trust, and momentum.

Strategic CX leadership isn’t just about doing great work. It’s also about being in the right places, building relationships, speaking up, sharing your perspective, and connecting your work to the broader business conversation.

The CX leaders who drive real change within organizations are often not simply the people with the most expertise in the room. They are the people who consistently engage in the right conversations. They make their thinking transparent. They help others understand why Customer Experience matters. They translate customer insights into business value. They connect the dots that others are too busy to see.

And because of that, they are the first to come to mind when new opportunities arise.

A strategic program. A transformation initiative. A leadership role. A seat at the table. A platform. A conversation with decision-makers.

Visibility creates memory. And memory creates opportunity.

Why many CX professionals wait too long

I still see many brilliant CX professionals waiting too long before they step forward.

Waiting until they know more. Waiting until they feel more confident. Waiting until they have another certification, another year of experience, or another success story to prove they’re ready.

Meanwhile, they—and maybe you 😉—are often already more than capable of contributing at a higher level.

The real shift isn’t always about improving yourself first. Sometimes the real shift is allowing yourself to be seen for what you already bring to the table: your experience, your perspective, your customer knowledge, your ability to bridge the gap between operational reality and strategic decisions, and your understanding of what customers need and what organizations struggle to change.

That is valuable. And if you keep it too hidden, the organization misses out on part of your leadership.

And let’s be clear: visibility in CX leadership isn’t about trying to outshout everyone else. It isn’t about feigning confidence you don’t actually feel. And it certainly isn’t about turning yourself into a personal branding machine if that isn’t your style.

Visibility can be much more down-to-earth than that. It can mean asking the more incisive question in a meeting. Sharing a customer insight with the leadership team. Presenting the underlying pattern behind the complaints instead of just reporting the numbers. Volunteering to speak at an internal session. Writing a short reflection on LinkedIn. Joining a podcast conversation. Presenting a compelling CX showcase at an event. Taking the stage, even when your inner critic would rather keep you safely in the audience.

Visibility begins with a simple leadership decision:

I have something valuable to offer, and I’m willing to share it with others.

A single moment can change how people see you

That one moment with Queen Máxima brought it all back to me.

One room. One opportunity. One conversation. One defining moment.

Sometimes that’s all it takes to change how people see you. Not because you’ve changed overnight, but because they’ve finally made the connection between your name, your face, your work, and your value.

That is what visibility does. It helps your work stick in people’s minds.

And in Customer Experience, where change depends so much on influence, trust, and timing, that memory matters.

So here’s my question for you as a CX leader: where are you still doing great work without making enough noise? Where are you waiting to be noticed, when you could just as easily choose to step forward? And what’s one opportunity to make your mark that you could say yes to this year?

Maybe it’s speaking at an event. Maybe it’s sharing a showcase. Maybe it’s posting the photo after an award ceremony instead of keeping it in your camera roll. Maybe it’s joining a podcast conversation. Maybe it’s simply speaking up in a room where CX needs to be more clearly aligned with business priorities.

Whatever it is, don't underestimate it.

Because visibility creates memories. And memories create opportunities.

So my little birthday wish for myself—and for you—is this: say yes to something that helps you stand out.

And if I can help you get there, I’d be happy to. Be a guest on my podcast, CX Leadership Talks. Speak at one of my events. Put on a brilliant presentation. Take that selfie at the International CX Awards in November and post it on LinkedIn.

I’m here to support you. Your wingwoman in CX leadership. Always.

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletterto stay informed. 

 

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You annoy me (and that’s a good sign for your growth as a CX leader)

Last week my assistant called me. She had just finished editing one of my newsletters and said, “Nienke, you’re getting on my nerves.” What followed was one of the most useful conversations I’ve had in a while, and it made me think about what CX leadership development actually looks like in practice. Not the polished version. The real one.

I was a little shocked. I laughed awkwardly. And I asked her why.

Her answer: because you’re always such a trailblazer. Every time I work on your content, I get this feeling that I’m falling behind. And the most frustrating part? You’re right. I AM falling behind. And you’re just holding up a mirror to me.

I let that sink in for a moment.

Because she is not alone.

Why honest feedback stings—and why that’s exactly the point

Do you recognize that feeling? Someone shows you what’s possible, and you realize you haven’t taken action yet. That mix of admiration and frustration. That “I know, I know, but still.” That, my friend, is tough love at work.

Research on coaching and mentoring points to one clear pattern: the most effective development relationships combine trust, challenge, and accountability. Not just comfort.

You want to change when feedback is honest, specific, and given within a relationship you trust. Not when it’s endlessly sugarcoated. But when it’s genuine, and when you know the person giving it actually wants you to succeed.

I have also made the mistake of being too harsh without that foundation of trust in place. I might have been right. But it didn’t go over well. So being right was completely irrelevant. I should have kept my mouth shut. It’s a mistake I haven’t forgotten, and one that taught me: trust is fundamental.

Tough love in CX leadership: Why I won’t apologize for it

I’ve had my share of triumphs and setbacks in CX leadership. Fourteen years of learning, building, failing, pivoting, and growing. As a CX educator and mentor, I do a lot of work behind the scenes: researching, building models, designing programs, and testing what actually helps CX leaders grow.

I don’t share things to show off. I share them because I genuinely believe that if I’ve figured something out, you deserve to know it too. So you can grow as well.

And yes, sometimes that means I’ll be in your face. Just a little.

Not because I'm better than you. But because I care enough to be honest. The people who helped me grow the most were never the ones who told me I was doing great. They were the ones who told me the truth.

So if I annoy you sometimes? Good. It means I’ve made an impact.

The real question every CX leader needs to ask themselves

What's holding you back right now?

Not in general. Specifically. Is there a skill you keep saying you’ll develop? A conversation you keep putting off? A change in how you lead as a CX leader that you know needs work, but feels uncomfortable?

Because of that discomfort? That is exactly where growth happens.

If you want someone on your side who will be honest with you, challenge you, help you, and genuinely celebrate when you take the plunge: I’m here for you.

Check out the courses scheduled for this year in the menu bar (CX Education) and choose the one that makes you feel a little uncomfortable. That’s probably the right one.

Does my content ever annoy you? Is there anything that hits a little too close to home? I’d love to hear about it—just send me a message. I promise I won’t be offended. I might even be delighted.

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletterto stay informed. 

 

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AI in Customer Experience: Lead Smarter, Not Harder

That nagging feeling that everyone around you is figuring out how to apply AI to customer experience faster than you are. You’re reading, experimenting, and trying to keep up. But you’re not quite making headway. I know that feeling.

And then last month, everything changed. I watched Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi at the AI Advantage Summit. I learned from Ben Afia and July Holmes at PSA UKI in Leeds. And, drumroll please: I built my first real AI agent. Not just an experiment. A real one. With three more in the works.

That’s when I realized the difference. I had been learning. But I hadn’t been making progress.

For you as a CX leader, that difference matters TOO.

Here are the three insights that changed the way I work.

What AI Does in Customer Experience (and What Only You Can Do)

Tony Robbins, Dean Graziosi, and Harvard professor Arthur Brooks all arrived at the same truth from different angles. That is what made it stick.

AI is the left-brain operator. You are the right-brain creator.

The left brain relies on logic and execution. AI excels at this. Automating workflows, analyzing data, drafting content, conducting research. The tedious work. The bottleneck work. The work that eats up your time and leaves you drained before you even get to what really matters.

The right brain is driven by heart and strategy. That’s your domain. Human connection. Emotional intelligence. The vision of what the customer experience should feel like five years from now. The narrative that wins over a boardroom. The decision that requires judgment, not just data.

The risk is NOT that AI will take your job. The risk is that you’ll give up the things that make you indispensable.

Use AI to clear the way. Then walk that path—as the leader, only YOU can do it.

The 3 A’s Every CX Leader Needs to Use AI Effectively

Tony Robbins outlined three levels that I now use as a mental model. They range from technical to strategic, which is exactly where CX leaders need to operate.

Alignment is the starting point. AI only works well when it understands your context, your goals, your audience, your language, and your brand. This is not a technical task. It is a leadership task. You define what matters before AI can help you communicate it.

Automation is the middle layer. Once everything is in sync, AI takes over the repetitive tasks that have been quietly sapping your energy. Think: data synthesis, report drafting, customer insight summaries, and first drafts of strategy documents. Stop grinding away. Let AI handle it.

Acceleration is the result. Alignment combined with automation means you move faster. You test ideas more quickly. You iterate, launch, and learn in real time. This isn’t just about efficiency. It’s a competitive advantage for every CX leader who wants to get more done without working longer hours.

The 3 A’s are not a checklist. They represent a shift in leadership.

The 20/60/20 Rule: The Smartest Way to Work with AI as a CX Leader

This one came from July Holmes, and it’s the most comprehensive framework I’ve come across on the subject.

You start with 20%. Your strategy, your goal, your language, your brand. The kind of thinking that only you can do. Skip this step, and AI will give you something generic. And generic is the enemy of good CX leadership.

60% is where AI does the heavy lifting: drafting, building, researching, and structuring. The key here is to trust the process. Set it up properly in the first 20%, and the middle 60% will move along at a rapid pace.

20% is yours again at the end. Review, refine, and add the human touch. Put your name on it and stand by it. This is where your judgment and your voice come back into play. This is where AI-generated work becomes YOUR work.

The 20/60/20 rule isn't about using AI more. It's about using yourself more effectively.

What this means for you

As a CX leader, your value doesn’t lie in carrying out every task. It lies in the clarity of your thinking, the quality of your communication, and the decisions that only you can make.

AI doesn't replace that. It protects it—if you let it.

So here’s my question for you: in what areas of your work are you still spending 60% of your time, when you should be focusing on the 20% that really matters?

That's where your acceleration begins.

Ready to lead CX with more clarity and less drudgery? Get weekly insights from Nienke—straight to your inbox. Subscribe to the CX Newsletter

Until next time, keep spicing up your Customer Experience leadership.

*****

Nienke Bloem is often called the Customer Experience speaker in the blue dress. 

She's a global CX thought leader, educator and a global keynote speaker who inspires audiences with best practices and proven methodologies. She leads a speaking practice, a CX game company and a training business; she breathes Customer Experiences and is author of two CX books.

Her two-day Customer Experience Masterclass is known as the best program to prepare for your CCXP and she is the go-to person for CX leaders who want to advance their leadership and bring direct results from their Customer Experience transformation programs. Since 2020, she hosts a CX Leadership Masterminds program and helps leaders spice up their leadership and deliver an engaging CX Story including a solid CX Strategy. Besides, she is a modern-day pilgrim and found the parallel with leading customer centric transformations. 

With over 20 years of corporate experience, she speaks the language of business. Her keynote speeches and training programs on customer experience are inspiring and practical. She is one of the few Recognized Training Partners of the CXPA, and her mission is to make customer experience work and help you achieve business results. Subscribe to her weekly CX newsletterto stay informed. 

 

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