Tag Archive of: jargon

The faucet is leaking

I had another one there. Such a letter of confirmation from a service I took. In corporate terminology, I would call it a process letter - one that the system defecates of its own accord because a customer has ordered, changed or cancelled something.

Of course, it is important that these letters come out automated. Because it's not quite nowadays, that there's a room full of typists. Who type these types of letters to measure, based on every customer thing that passes by. But why are these system letters so not contemporary? So distant? And why do they use references I can't reach with my hat? Who came up with them? K-532-Zleven. Or 54352-trxxx. It must have something to do with my customer number, address or date of birth. Or is it a system as complicated and ingenious as car license plates? Someone made up a series, it ran out, so a new series was introduced. Something like that.

But I'm wandering off. I myself have been responsible for customer communication. I know how difficult it is to change these process letters. It's just a huge fucking job. A job that nobody really wants to burn their fingers on. Because it involves quite a bit. It starts with the question: do we use 'you' or 'you' and ends with 'which letter is sent when' and 'where does a possible answer go'? And which words should you use? Words the customer should be able to understand. B1, Jip and Janneke. Oh, well, choices, choices...

Really, no one is eager to do this job in the area of customer communication. And yet... if the faucet leaks, you have to make it (or have it made) and then mop it up. That's where I want to make my point. About that mop. That goes best when the crane is repaired. Otherwise it becomes such a mess. So from today on there will only be letters and e-mails that bring the right message to the right recipient, in the right language and at the right time. And then what? Then it's time to start mopping up: you're going to tackle the process communication. That mega project. Pull out two years for that. At least, I'd say.

The nastiest thing is that you don't get many honourable mentions for this. Because as soon as you're done, the first letter is already outdated. Or does it have a new name. Or a new tone-of-voice. Or a new logo. Or a new director. Because, well, all those letters have to have the right signature... It would make you despondent.

 

This blog was written for CustomerFirst and published on 13 November 2019.

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Wanted: the Marie Kondo of customer communication

How are the New Year’s resolutions coming along? Healthier eating, more exercise, less alcohol or - very much on-trend - a rigorous tidy up operation? That is what it's all about in Marie Kondo's book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.The Japanese author's book is all about declutter, because a cleared and tidy house results in clear head space. The key question when tidying up and clearing out is to ask yourself for every single item: “Does this spark joy?”

To me, the starting point is tidying up my work place. I usually start with the pile of insurance documents, which are moved into binders. When doing so, my attention was caught by a cover letter from my income protection insurance provider. The name of the product “UNIM Renewed 0510 IP” is repeated three times in the letter; in the subject, in the first line of the letter and further on in the written description of the policy.

I took this important income protection insurance out two years ago and apparently the name of the product was “UNIM Renewed 0510 IP”. The letter doesn't give me a lot of information, but I'm wondering whether or not there might be another type of policy called “UNIM Outdated IP”? And what does “UNIM” mean? As Marie Kondo would say: “Does this spark joy?” No. This letter is poorly worded and full of jargon. As a customer, I can't do anything with this letter. You would expect communication experts or legal advisors to review and sign off on letters like these. I file the policy and throw the letter straight into the recycling bin.

My next job is to clear out the digital trash folder in my mailbox. I come across my Spam folder, containing a shocking 567 unread messages. I scan through the list of emails, which are predominantly newsletters including offers for products or services. To be honest, it is a pretty sad sight. Most emails do not even address me personally and I cannot positively answer the question “Does this spark joy” even once! I select all emails and with one click on the big red delete button everything is moved to the digital trash. Great, at least that feels like a nice clear out and it makes me happy!

The question that lingers in my head is: Where is “the Marie Kondo of Client Communication?” The man or woman that brings in some fun? Who includes visuals accompanying the necessary text. Who jazzes up the terms and conditions. Who ensures that a newsletter is only sent if it can make a customer happy. Hello! This is a call for the Marie Kondo of Client Communication: we need you!


This blog was written for CustomerFirst and published on 31 January 2018.

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