Sometimes, there are moments when you just cannot believe what an employee does and says. That you're totally stunned in a store and feel completely fooled as a customer. That you would love to say something very angry, out of sheer despair. Do you know that feeling?

It has been a while ago for me, but last week I went through it again. What happened and what can you learn from that? Read and Weep...

My 16 year old daughter really wanted to go to Appelpop (a Dutch pop festival) and camp with her friends on the festival grounds. If you want to camp there, someone of at least 18 years old has to come along. So, the ladies persuaded me to accompany them. At home, we used to call it 'cramping' instead of camping, so you know I wasn't cheering to join. But for your kids you do everything! I didn't have any camping equipment, so I went to an outdoor shop to get myself a tent and an air mattress.

I was helped perfectly. Even got lucky that the tent was on sale. So I went home happy with my purchases, where the two adolescent ladies set up the tent in the living room in no time. The first test was passed.

The festival

Friday, September 11th. We arrived at camping site 'The Betuwe' and were allocated a nice spot, also with top neighbors. We put up our tent, inflated our air mattress and headed for the fantastic Appelpop festival (I'm a fan!). After a musical party we came home in the middle of the night and when I crawled into my tent, I immediately noticed that the air mattress was a bit soft. "Hadn't I twisted the cap properly?" Luckily the pump was within reach and I finally fell asleep. Halfway through the night I woke up while my buttocks touched the cold Betuwe soil. Ugh, an air mattress that slowly drained away. LEAK.

Anyway, it's a festival, "you win some, you lose some". It's a bit of a part of the job. Saturday's just like a festival day with different musical highlights. Unfortunately it had become rainy and when we got back to the campsite at 1 a.m. it was raining cats and dogs. I quickly crawled into my Wildebeast tent and once I was lying down I heard "Drip, drip, drip". After a short examination the zipper of the awning appeared to be as leaky as a sieve. The water ran right into my inner tent. Luckily it became dry after a few hours, but I was mad. I had to inflate my air mattress twice during the night, because unfortunately no gnomes had repaired the leak. Sunday morning I came out of my tent pretty broken and decided to go straight back to the shop that day. With tent and air mattress, because this could not be the intention.

Returning

There I was at the desk. A girl approached me. Asked what she could do for me. I explained the situation and she called in a colleague. If I still had the receipt. Of course I did! They looked somewhat pained and asked if I had set up the tent properly. Did I knew that zippers in awnings always leak when it rains? I told them I couldn't imagine that. That I wanted a new air mattress and my money back for the tent. Because the camping season is really over and if I get a new tent now with 'the slightest imperfection', I would only find out next year. They couldn't do that, but they would find out what they could do for me. Turned their backs to me and walked away. "Wait here, please."

Sure. There I was. Between tents, hiking boots, backpacks. There was no empathy for two broken nights on a leaky air mattress. Not even a "sorry that you bought a leaky tent." I couldn't believe my ears and because of that broken night, my stamina was not optimal either. But I decided to control myself. Just waited and yes, there came the Sunday-sidekicks again.

"Hello madam, basically we don't offer refunds. But this time we will." So, I was very lucky this time.... And then it came. "But next time if you buy a tent, and it's important for you that the awning doesn't leak? Then better inform yourself and then buy a more expensive one." My mouth fell open. I got my refund and now I've got one more kick that I misinformed myself. With an angry voice I answered "I was here last Thursday and got advice from one of your colleagues. He didn't ask me if I wanted a leaky zipper in the awning. I just followed his advice and therefore bought this tent. Make sure you give better advice yourselves and in all honesty, don't sell junk."

Anyway, I still wanted another air mattress. Unfortunately, I couldn't get one. They were sold out in the shop, but I could just order a new one online at home. In the corner of my eye I saw a tablet, so they could have done that for me of course. But no, they didn't offer any thinking along and action. So I got my money back for both the air mattress and the tent. It was quite a drama with receipts behind the cash register and the money would be refunded to my account. Even though I had my money back, I didn't have a good feeling about it. Still slightly fuming, I went home.

How not to deal with a complaint

What lessons can you learn from this? Especially what you should NOT do in case of a complaint.

1. Tell customers exactly what they did wrong themselves

Without any empathy for the two broken nights and all the hassle, these ladies told me that I must have set up the tent wrong. Besides that, I was so stupid that I didn't know that all zippers on awnings always leak. My tip: show empathy. Empathize. Ask questions. Nod, hum. But leave out all the criticism. You'll only make it worse.

2. Tell me what's not possible

The moment I indicated what I wanted in terms of solution, they immediately told me that this was not possible. They wouldn't refund my money in situations like this. And they didn't have air mattresses anymore. Quite miraculous that the solution in the end was that I got my money back. Thinking along with me in other scenarios; that wasn't going to happen. My tip: listen carefully to what the client wants. Ask the why of this solution. Then find out what the possibilities are and think along with the client. Ask if your solution satisfies the customer, then you're sure you're right.

3. Beat a dead horse

Once they had explained that I got my money back, they also explained in detail that next time, I had to do better when picking a tent. In other words, the tent with the leaky zipper in the awning was my own fault. Because I hadn't done my preparatory work properly. My tip: if you have come to a solution, ask if this is a good one. Then check whether you can still help the client with something else. I would have liked some help with buying an air mattress for example.

Is this just about this outdoor sports store? No! Because this happens a lot. Unfortunately. The ladies who helped me were weekend workers, making extra money as students. I'm sure they can sell well, but they're seriously lacking in service. Probably they hadn't learned anything about solving complaints and the importance of joining in and showing empathy. They followed the internal rules and knew how to explain them to me perfectly. Take care of qualified staff. Not only in terms of product knowledge, but also in terms of resolving power. Invest in that, because it's costing you business and customers and it is surely bad PR.

Despite the inconveniences, I didn't have a hard time to survive the camping nights in the weekend. But when dealing with my complaint, I had the feeling that I'd been left in the cold. Too bad and not necessary.

What do you want an organization to do if you have a complaint? What is crucial for you in resolving it? Please let me know in response to this blog!

PS. I take this picture as a selfie while pitching the tent on Friday.

In june I visited the Gartner Customer Strategies & Technologies Summit 2015. Besides listening and engaging in sessions and workshops, I hosted a panel discussion titled "For the love of your customers, make employee engagement work! With this blog I share the insights from this engaging discussion.

With me on internship, were two leaders with best practices in the Employee Engagement field. Both Rob Graham (Customer engagement center director of Tesco) and Graeme Gabriel (Strategic Back Office WFO Consultant at Verint) shared their learnings.

Employee Engagement is often seen as soft. Both men obviously had a different opinion. They said that Employee Engagement is an important driver towards business success. They both showed their professionalism from a leadership perspective and told snappy examples that triggered the audience.

What are their 4 Do's to get real Engaged Employees and happy customers?

1. Ask your employee for feedback and Act upon it

Too many surveys are sent out to employees, where no actions are taken upon. Take actions that will really impact their happiness or possibilities to serve customers in a better way. If you are not able to act upon, be honest about it. Transparency is KEY.

2. Hire the right people for your company, find you Goodliness

At Google they have described what kind of people they want and if they match the criteria, they have the Googliness factor. Only people that have that Googliness are hired and Google doesn't make exceptions. So find you own Googliness and make sure only people that fit your wishes enter the company. Engagement ensured.

3. Act not Add

Give your employees the freedom to act. Especially on social media. Let them handle complaints or emergency situations in a human matter. A woman called in to Tesco and had to cancel her delivery, because she unexpectedly went into labor. Instead of following the rules, the agent send her a bouquet of flowers. The customer posted a photo of the flowers on Facebook and this received more than 100k likes. Another example was not so fortunate. A guide dog and blind woman were banned from a store and the company tried to resolve, but the public didn't take it. The learning is still: Let your employees act upon what happens. Sometimes they get it wrong, but much more often they get it right

4. Get the C-Suite to See

This is actually an open door, but so true. Get the leaders to see and experience how customer service is done. Let them walk through stores, get them to help customers themselves, listen to telephone calls, interact with employees. It works both ways. In employee engagement of the customer facing employees, but also in the decision making of the leaders. They can walk the talk and act upon what they have seen. A big driver of Employee Engagement.